Have you ever noticed that when you’re holding back or hesitating in one part of your life, that the rest of your life seems to be holding back or hesitating involuntarily? I’m finally beginning to this pattern. It’s one that’s probably been active for a long time, but I’ve just been too distracted to realize it until recently.
Maybe you’ve been distracted like I have. You’ve been wondering what to do with your life, how to get to that next stage or level. It’s long been an internal struggle. But in the midst of that, you’re holding onto this one part of yourself — one area that you’d rather not let people discover too much about. It’s just this one part of you — how could it possibly be affecting your search for your hopes and dreams, for your calling? It doesn’t even have anything to do with your dreams!
Or so we too often think. I’m finding out that many times those things that we mistake as not good or important enough to be seen beyond ourselves are the very things that help us take our next crucial steps. (And every step is crucial.) Not that the hidden part of us is exactly our unfulfilled destiny. However, the process of opening up a sacred or hidden part of yourself can be just the encouragement we need to move forward in those other areas of our lives. Sometimes you have to open up what you’ve been holding closely so you can handle what’s coming next.
I’m looking forward to what the future holds. Yes, even in the midst of the very nerve-wracking decisions I’ve been facing on this new path, I have hope that the things have seemed to be just out of reach are sliding closer to my fingertips. Tomorrow I will start opening up the imperfect ideas inside my head in the form of a blog of fiction stories, and as I take this initial step I’m excited about the steps to come.
September 1, 2011 at 4:25 pm
I am so proud of you!
I am looking forward to your next step with a blog of fiction stories – can’t wait to read them!
I really can relate to your post and appreciate your introspection and vulnerability.
September 1, 2011 at 10:31 pm
Thank you so much! I have my moments. 🙂
I’ve had random stories rolling around in my head for most of my life — hopefully some of them will turn out to be interesting to other people’s minds as well!
September 6, 2011 at 8:09 pm
I am sure your stories will be great!
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had some serious moments of wanting to stop solely out of fear. I am still pressing forward, but man, some days are tough!
September 6, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Oh, yes, I definitely have moments the fear is in force – especially the fear of rejection and the fear of irrelevance. I keep reminding myself not being an overnight success is exactly what I’m going for – it’ll help me achieve relevance and acceptance where it actually matters.
I’m still on pins and needles, but I know slow and steady is the way to go — and I’ve found that actually pretending to run around flailing and screaming does actually help calm my nerves. 🙂
September 8, 2011 at 7:11 pm
LOL! Love it! I may need to try your method of calming nerves – may be just what I need!
Are you going to post your stories on this blog? Or create a new blog? I’m interested to see what format, etc. you will go with as I am wanting to do something similar with my own essays, fiction, etc.
September 8, 2011 at 9:19 pm
I’ve started it on http://anotherjoywrites.wordpress.com/ . Feel free to take a look around; the end of the first story goes up tomorrow. It’s a work in progress (but isn’t everything?), style as well as content. But it’s started, so now comes the fun part of slowly getting better. 🙂
Let me know when and what you start, so I can keep up – I’m a big fan of solidarity.
September 11, 2011 at 5:22 pm
You might like to read Elke Babicki’s book ‘Making the Connections’. Read it with an open mind, I am sure you will take something useful from it. 🙂
September 12, 2011 at 10:57 pm
Thanks Claire. I may have to check that out. 🙂