I had this post all planned out. I intended to point out how it seems that the bulk of compliments I hear given to young female adults come not from young make adults but from the elder female women trying to encourage the younger ones. I had the post already. It even had the above title. But I couldn’t go through with it.
Why not? I started to think about what i was trying to say. And then i started to think about all the extra things i was saying to get there. And then I simply couldn’t get comfortable with the idea anymore.
I love the elder women who speak into my life. So I didn’t want to say that the priceless encouragement they have given me and women like me who are trying to develop into Godly women and future elders was not valuable enough in it’s own right. But in a way, I was.
I also appreciate the guys in my life who are not afraid or clueless about their female friends; they don’t hesitate to help build them up as sisters and friends, regardless of future relationship potential. I didn’t want to say that they are included in the majority of guys I see who are not interested in encouraging their female peers unless they are encouraging them into a new dating relationship. But in a way, I was.
Even more, I like compliments as much as the next girl, but I’m well capable to take them at face value when they come and not look for there to be more intended than what’s explicitly stated. I didn’t want to say that compliments from guys or anyone else are a required source of my emotional wellbeing. But in a way, I was.
Not everyone is gifted like John Mayer. Sometimes it’s not easy to say what you need to say. But it can be all too easy to say something else entirely. I was attempting an provoking (okay, slightly scathing) series of thoughts on an unspoken reality I see on a regular basis. Only the line between thought-provoking and simply scathing got blurred, and I didn’t know how to clear it up.
So instead I decided to just be plain. Maybe not as provoking, but definitely not as scathing. If I’m going to mean what I say, then I have be genuinely attempting to say what I really mean.